Life's Never Easy
by xxpapercutxx
Summary: Gaara works in a Starbucks inside of a Safeway. He has an annoying coworker, stalkerish costumer, and obsessive sister. One has to wonder how he'll survive. Onesided NejiGaa and SasuNaru
1. Chapter 1

I've gotten bored…so I decided to try to write a humor/parody thing of sorts. This is all about Gaara and his adventures working in a Starbucks that is inside a Safeway. Just to clear a few things up, Gaara is nineteen and taking a year off before college because he needs money and can't afford to go to college at the moment. Naruto is only seventeen and Neji is twenty-two. Sasuke is going to be eighteen and a senior in high school that he attends with Naruto. Oh most importantly Gaara is asexual but there will be some action between him and someone (Neji) because that someone (Neji) likes him. I hope this will make it more clear for you to understand my story as you read. Please enjoy!

**Warning: Language, shonen-ai, and Gaara's personality**

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Starbucks, or Safeway.

**IMPORTANT: I in no way am trying to offend people with my story. If anything in this offends you I'm sorry. This was made for humor only and none of this is really very serious. It's all just for a good laugh. So please don't review saying how rude I am or something. It will not be appreciated or tolerated since I gave you fair warning. If you have a problem with my story at all just hit the back button and forget about it. Sorry if that sounded rude I just wanted to get a point across.**

Beta-ed by **Red Deep** (Please go read her stories! I love them and I'm sure you will too!) And special thanks to **Rayne **who helped me think of the title for this! Sorry Rayne I forgot what your pen name was so I just wrote your name.

**Chapter 1**

"I hate this job," A red head mumbled banging his head on the counter top of the small booth he worked in. His blonde co-worker gave him a questioning look before voicing his question aloud.

"Are you okay Gaara?" The boy asked.

"Do I look okay?"

"Not really…"

"There's your answer… now go die," Gaara muttered standing up and looking around the store they were in. He really hated his job; the only reason he was still working there was because he needed the money and hadn't been fired yet.

"Why are you so mean?" The blond boy whined frowning deeply, although it looked far more like a pout than a frown.

"Because God hates you," Gaara replied glaring at the boy. He really didn't like his co-worker Naruto all that much either.

"That doesn't explain why you're mean!" He said indignantly pointing an accusing finger at the slightly taller boy.

"Yes it does. You just haven't realized it yet," Gaara explained watching a little girl pull on her mother's arm screaming about wanting ice cream.

"Why are you like this?" Naruto complained sighing loudly as he glanced around the store.

"Because God hates me too."

With his green eyes still watching the mother and daughter he didn't notice the little boy walking up alone to the booth until he began speaking.

"I want hot chocolate!" The boy yelled stomping his foot.

"Do you have any money?" Gaara said with a sigh.

"No! Just give me my hot chocolate!" Gaara was now thoroughly irritated and decided to take it out on the little boy.

"You know what?"

"What?" The boy asked confused.

"God raped you last night…" He paused adding effect. "And you enjoyed it!"

"GAARA! Don't say that to little kids!" Naruto yelled. "And what do you have against God anyway? I thought you were atheist."

"I can say whatever the hell I want and yes I'm atheist but I can still use God against people who do believe in him." Gaara said glaring at Naruto as the little boy ran off to go find his parents.

"No you can't! You might have mentally scarred that child!" Naruto yelled back.

"Watching television can scar a child! I am doing any worse than what society does!"

"Don't blame society for your own problems!"

"Society is what lets people classify themselves into groups and hate others purely based on who they are grouped in with! Society is fucked up!" Gaara silently cursed under his breathe as a passing lady walked by gasping at his language.

"Excuse me but what did you just say?" The lady questioned. Her hair was tied in a loose bun and pajama pants and a sweatshirt covered her body.

"I don't need to take crap from a woman who can't even dress properly before going into public."

"You asshole! How dare you say that to a customer!" She replied hotly.

"You didn't buy anything so technically you aren't a customer." Gaara remarked dryly, he seriously didn't need to deal with anything else today and yet things kept happening.

"I am going to speak to a manager here and complain!" The lady said as she started to briskly walk off.

"Just so you know I'm the manager for the Starbucks here!" Gaara called after her.

"What is your problem?" Naruto questioned his eyes wide in shock at Gaara's behavior.

"You know what? You should really not work the same hours as me. I'd appreciate it if you'd pick different ones next time."

"I can't! I have school!" Naruto exclaimed.

"They let anyone in these days don't they?" Gaara said laughing to himself. Naruto turned red in anger, as he fumed silently not liking being made fun of.

"I'm going on my break," Naruto stated walking out of the booth.

"Finally! Now maybe I can actually hear myself think without constant chatter," Gaara said smirking at the blonde's obvious anger. He decided that if he could enjoy torturing the poor boy all day then maybe he wouldn't mind working with him as much.

Hearing that just made the other boy walk away slightly faster. Now with the boy gone, Gaara got out his book and began reading but as soon as he started, a costumer walked up to him. He sighed as he put his book down and looked up at the man before him.

"What do you want?" Gaara questioned grabbing a notepad and pen readying himself to write down whatever the man said.

"Hmm…Grande Carmel Frappucino," The brunette said placing the necessary bills on the counter as Gaara took them and placed them in the cash register before giving the pale man his change. "You can go wait over there while I make it." Gaara pointed to the edge of the booth and the tall man silently walked over to it.

After feeling the man's gaze, Gaara questioned, "Can you stop staring at me?"

"No," The man replied still looking at Gaara.

"Here you go,"Gaara said handing him his drink as soon as he finished making it. He was just glad to be rid of the creepy man; his stare was unnerving in a way.

"Thank you," Was the polite reply as the man walked off leaving the store.

Once again it was peaceful in the small Starbucks booth and at times like this Gaara had to wonder why he worked in a Starbucks located in a Safeway.

"Hey Gaara!" A blonde girl with her hair put into four pigtails called out waving at him as she walked by.

That was when he remembered that it was his sister, Temari, who had in fact gotten him this job. She worked in the Safeway. It turns out her current boyfriend was in charge of hiring people but found it too 'troublesome' to do it himself and left it up to her, which all in all wasn't such a great idea.

"Hey," Gaara mumbled knowing his sister would get angry if he didn't reply, then went back to thinking about his job.

Although, it had a decent wage and was close to his apartment so he really didn't mind the job at all. His previous jobs were just as bad, but usually involved more grease or more thought. Working at a retail store required too much 'teamwork' and fast food places reeked of grease, neither very pleasant for him to have to deal with. So this job was slightly better than the other two.

"Coffee black," A woman said walking up to him.

"Thank you for making my job so much easier," Gaara said taking her money and giving her back the change. He then poured some coffee into the right sized cup before handing it to her.

"Thank you," She said quickly before rushing off. Thinking about it she was probably the last costumer for the morning and he'd have it easy until lunchtime when people decided to have Starbucks with their food.

He grabbed his book once more and began reading, offering a simple hand gesture to Naruto to show he knew he had returned when the blonde boy came back. This time the blonde didn't speak and his face was an odd shade of pink, but he chose not to ask. He'd learned over the years that many things were better left unsaid.

So the two worked, more like stood around, for the next few hours of their shift helping any costumers that came in a calm and peaceful silence. Gaara thought that maybe he'd finally be lucky and get to leave work on time because no problems had arisen, oh but how wrong he was.

Life never was easy for him.

**To be continued… that is if anyone likes it.**

**Please Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

You all seemed to like chapter one a lot so here's chapter two. Thanks for all my reviewers! I wouldn't have written anymore for this if no one had reviewed and said they liked it.

**Warning: Language, shonen-ai, and Gaara's personality**

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Starbucks, or Safeway.

**IMPORTANT: I in no way am trying to offend people with my story. If anything in this offends you I'm sorry. This was made for humor only and none of this is really very serious. It's all just for a good laugh. So please don't review saying how rude I am or something. It will not be appreciated or tolerated since I gave you fair warning. If you have a problem with my story at all just hit the back button and forget about it. Sorry if that sounded rude I just wanted to get a point across.**

Beta-ed by **Sasuke2006** (Her stories rock my socks off. You should go read them.)

**Chapter Two**

"Gaara!" Yelled a pink-haired girl running up to him with a blonde girl.

"Shit," Gaara cursed thinking about whether or not to duck and pretend he hadn't seen or heard them.

"Gaara!" The girl yelled again finally making it to the Starbucks stand. "I haven't seen you in forever!"

"Sakura it's only been a month," Gaara stated moving as far away from the girl as humanly possible while standing inside the stand.

"Yeah! But doesn't that seem like forever?" She questioned giggling.

"So Gaara what have you been up to?" Asked the long-haired blonde.

"Working."

"Boring!" Sakura yelled. "You should hang out with us once you get off of work!"

"I can't. I have a previous engagement I need to attend to," Gaara said hoping to confuse one of them with what he said.

"What is it?" Ino asked. _Damn, they are smarter than they look._ Gaara cursed silently in his mind as he tried to think something up.

"I have to go to my therapy session," Gaara lied hoping he seemed insane enough to need one.

"You told me you don't have a therapist!" Naruto yelled. He had been standing off to the side just watching since he had nothing to do with the three's conversation until now. "Did you lie to me?"

"Yes," Gaara said mentally promising to make the blonde's life miserable whenever they were working the same hours.

"Gaara you don't have a therapist," Sakura said laughing. "You're such a joker. Well we'll meet you outside and try to hurry because the movie starts in a half an hour."

"What movie?" Gaara asked. He had to know whether or not it was going to be worth it to go somewhere with the two girls.

"JUST MY LUCK!" Ino and Sakura squealed. _No fucking way in hell am I watching a chick flick._

"I'll see you guys in a few minutes," Gaara said lying to the girls.

"Okay!" Sakura called out as they walked away. He watched them walk out the door arguing about whether or not the guy who had looked in their direction was looking at Sakura or Ino. He sighed remembering the four years of hell the two had put him through. High school had been tolerable until they decided to be his 'best friends'. He had tried everything to get them to leave him alone. Even make them hate each other, but that only resulted in them fighting over him.

"Kill me now," Gaara mumbled looking at the ceiling of the noisy store as he walked out of the booth as they finished cleaning up.

"What's wrong now?" Naruto asked walking beside him.

"I hate them…so much…" Gaara began. "WHY CAN'T THEY JUST DIE?"

"Gaara…people are staring…" Naruto said, slightly afraid of the redhead.

"So?" Gaara said, not interested at all in what other people thought of him. "Let them stare. Why should you care what they think?"

"Because what others think can affect you," Naruto said frowning.

"My god…" Gaara said stopping and staring at the blonde boy.

"What?" Naruto said confused.

"You actually said something intelligent…" Gaara said smirking now. "I'm amazed. Bravo."

"I HATE YOU!" Naruto yelled storming away.

"I love you too!" Gaara yelled after him glaring at the people who gave him strange looks.

Now all he had to do was find a way to get outside without the girls seeing him. He knew with those two that one was standing at the only two exits in the store. So there was no easy way to get out. Gaara looked around at the people in the store and spotted the man from that morning staring at him. _He'll do. _Gaara thought smirking as he walked over to where the man was.

"Excuse me," Gaara said even though he already had the man's attention. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Depends," The man said smirking. "What do I get in return?"

Looking the man over he could tell he didn't need money if he was wearing an expensive suit, not as if Gaara had the money to pay anyone. And by the lustful look he was getting Gaara could tell there was only one thing he wanted.

"I'll give you anything but sex," Gaara stated.

"Be my lover for a week, but you don't have to sleep with me," The man suggested.

"I don't think my favor really is all that important anymore."

"You'll live with me and not have to pay for anything."

"…Deal," Gaara said. He'd finally get to eat a real meal. It had been almost a year since he last had, considering he was forced to eat the food because Temari had made it. Although he didn't really enjoy eating burnt food. That and he was pretty sure that he lived in a nice place that had hot water that lasted more than ten minutes.

On the other hand, he'd have to do sexual things with the man. It's not like he hadn't already had his first kiss, which he had. Or that he was shy, far from it. It was just that people generally weren't supposed to go live with people who seemed very interested in them for a week.

The pros about going had out weighed the cons.

"Good," He said smirking when Gaara agreed. "What do you need help with?"

"Getting out of this store without being seen by two psycho girls. By the way what is your name?"

"Hyuuga Neji," He said smirking while grabbing Gaara's arm and dragging him to one of the exits.

"Wait! If we go out there, they will see me!" Gaara yelled struggling to get out of the man's tight grip.

"No worries," Neji said smirking even wider. Right as they got to the door he slipped one arm around Gaara's thin waist and pulled them close together kissing the younger boy. Gaara's eyes widened but he was too shocked to do anything else as he was kissed and somehow managed to walk out of the store. Sakura however didn't see him, because Neji's hair had gotten in the way and from the angle she was at Gaara looked like a girl in pants. Gaara was silent as Neji led him to his Mercedes Benz and got into the car. It was not until they were driving down the road that he spoke.

"You…kissed me…" Gaara said shocked.

"What? Was that your first kiss?" Neji said smirking. He liked the effect the one kiss had on the boy.

"No," Gaara started. "It's just you really suck at kissing…"

"What?" Neji said irritated.

"I was once kissed by this guy…what's his name? Oh yeah Uchiha Itachi! He was good…" Gaara said remembering the one kiss. He wasn't attracted to the man, he just liked the pleasure the kiss had brought him. Gaara had only dated people in the past because he liked feeling good, he never really liked any of them all that much. Most of them just liked him for his body anyway.

"Uchiha…" Neji seethed while saying the name.

"You know him?" Gaara asked surprised.

"He's my co-worker."

"What's your job?" Gaara asked seeing how his questions made the man angrier he decided to keep asking them.

"We are right below the CEO level of our company which is the largest importing and exporting company," Neji said seeming to calm a little. Gaara frowned. He didn't like the calm Neji. The calm Neji wasn't any fun to laugh at.

"You should have Itachi teach you how to kiss," Gaara said smirking as he said this.

"I'll never submit to him!" Neji said angrily.

"Are you saying he is interested in you?" Gaara said in mock surprise. "I mean Itachi is interested in anything that has two arms, two legs, a head, and most importantly a dick."

"You're not cute at all," Neji said glaring at the younger.

"I don't try to be," Gaara said. "I have a feeling that something bad is going to happen in the near future…"

"Why is that?" Neji asked.

"Because I just saw Naruto running down the street crying and being chased by a guy… He's going to come to me for advice," Gaara said glaring out the window. "I'm not his friend!"

"I'm surprised any people consider you their friend," Neji said smirking as well.

"I doubt you have any friends either," Gaara said smirking when he saw the blank look on Neji's face.

"You better be worth it," Neji said sighing as he turned into the driveway of his house.

_**To be continued…**_

**Please Review!**


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry to make you all wait. But here is the next chapter of the story! Hope you like it!

**Warning: Language, shonen-ai, Gaara's personality and language! Gaara has a very dirty mouth. Well not really, well kind of. Anyway you've been warned!**

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Starbucks, or Safeway. Ah I also mention Taco Bell in this, which I don't own as well. I also don't own a car or cell phone... Yeah, I'm really poor and don't have a job. I should go find one...

**IMPORTANT: I in no way am trying to offend people with my story. If anything in this offends you I'm sorry. This was made for humor only and none of this is really very serious. It's all just for a good laugh. So please don't review saying how rude I am or something. It will not be appreciated or tolerated since I gave you fair warning. If you have a problem with my story at all just hit the back button and forget about it. Sorry if that sounded rude I just wanted to get a point across.**

Beta-ed by **Arie Date**

**Chapter Three**

"Gaara get out of the shower now!" Neji said through gritted teeth while pounding on the bathroom door. Gaara just kept sitting on the edge of the tub letting the hot water fall to the floor and go down the drain.

"I'm not done yet!" Gaara called smirking to himself. He was going to waste all the hot water; he personally thought Neji could use the cold shower. The man was far too horny. He felt justified in his actions though, for he had to go to work today and he _still_ had bruised lips and _way _too many hickeys to count.

Gaara sighed in frustration knowing the stares and questions he was going to get today. He stuck his hand under the water and felt that it was luke warm and he smiled to himself. Revenge was sweet.

He turned the water off and smiled in victory as he walked out of the bathroom fully dressed and ready for work.

"About time," Neji said glaring a little but smirking when he saw the visible, very **apparent** marks on Gaara's neck.

"Yeah, yeah. Just hurry up, I need a ride to work," Gaara said walking out to the living room to wait.

Gaara smiled as he counted down in his head the time until the water would turn on.

"Three, two, one…" And on cue he heard the water start and Neji scream.

"GAARA!"

"Oh! I'm sorry! I forgot to tell you I used all the hot water!" Gaara called out in the direction of the bathroom before walking outside and standing next to Neji's rather expensive car, debating weather or not to scratch it with his keys. He didn't have time to make a choice however, because the next thing he knew he was surrounded by a group of four guys.

"Who are you?" Asked the first, his hair extremely messy and he had a toothy grin.

"Neji's sex toy," Gaara replied, mentally smirking at the boys shocked and surprised reactions to his answer. "And my name is Sabaku Gaara." Oh how he enjoyed torturing people.

"WELL! At least you indulge in youthfulness!" One of the other guys said with his bowl cut hair and bug eyes. Somehow it just fit him. Seemingly normal and matching hideously well with his green spandex shirt and tight green jeans. Gaara could only wonder where the guy found his clothing.

"Lee that made no sense at all," The one who spoke first said. "Anyway my name is Inuzuka Kiba, nice to meet cha."

The boy reached out his hand in an offering to shake Gaara's own but Gaara only stared at his hand until Kiba let it drop and scratched his head confused. "Well you sure don't seem very social."

"You all seem…" Gaara paused looking them over again. "Like too much trouble."

"He sounds like Shika!" Kiba yelled busting up laughing as Lee joined in not really finding it funny, but just liking to laugh.

"I agree," A guy with a short brown ponytail, said pausing to yawn. "You're all troublesome."

"Shikamaru! YOU NEED TO BE MORE LIVELY AND YOUTHFUL!" Lee bellowed out, **_way_** too happy in Gaara's opinion.

"Can you all just go away and stay away?" Gaara asked wishing he could melt into the car and hide from the annoying men.

"Nah! We're here to get a ride from Neji to work," Kiba said smiling at the younger boy.

"I find it hard to believe that _any _of you could be on the same job level as Neji," Gaara said.

"We're not," Kiba said simply. "I work at Taco Bell and Shikamaru here works at Safeway."

"I'M A P.E. TEACHER! I teach children the joys of youth! Just like Gai-sensei taught me!" Lee yelled out with sparkles of joy in his eyes as he began to rant about youth while everyone tuned him out.

"And Shino here…well I'm not sure exactly what his job is, but I think it has something to do with bugs…he really doesn't talk about it," Kiba said staring at his silent friend for a moment before turning back to Gaara. "Is Neji giving you a ride too?"

"Yes."

"Where do you work?"

"Starbucks."

"Why aren't you talking that much?"

"Because God hates me."

"What?" Kiba asked confused. "I don't get it."

"Well, that is because God hates you too."

"What if I don't believe in God?" Kiba asked.

"You have no say in it," Gaara explained. "God is evil and you must know that will never change."

"…I thought God was the good guy," Kiba mumbled.

"You were lied to apparently," Gaara said leaning against the car wondering just how long it could take Neji to take a shower. Unless the guy actually liked cold showers, but that just didn't seem like something he'd like.

"Do you like bugs?" The guy Kiba had introduced as Shino asked Gaara. Although he couldn't tell if Shino was actually looking at him for the dark shades covering his eyes made it impossible to tell.

"Yes, I especially like the ones that most people hate," Gaara, said grinning as he remembered his senior class prank, which he had done all by himself.

-

_Gaara sat in his IP English class humming happily to himself. Not even Sakura and Ino telling him that they were going to the mall together after school could ruin his mood. For they had said that, and yet he was still happy. He had to wonder to himself though… how had Ino made it into IP English? I mean he could understand Sakura getting into it, for somehow she was intelligent even if she didn't act like it. He was however pulled out of his thoughts as he heard a girl scream._

_"BUGS! EVERYWHERE!" The girl shrieked running into the classroom three minutes late. The teacher was shocked for a moment before glaring at the girl._

_"TenTen being late to class is no excuse for making such an outburst to make up for being late," The teacher said going to update her attendance. However more screams were heard from the hall and the teacher walked curiously to the door before the room across from theirs burst open and the teacher and her students fled from the room all screaming or shrieking in terror._

_"What's going on?" Demanded the teacher grabbing one of the terrified students._

_"Bugs! Everywhere! They're everywhere! Run!" The girl said quickly before pulling away from the teacher and running down the hall._

_Gaara smiled highly satisfied with himself. Panic, disorder and confusion were all going on because of him; his goal was complete._

_"OH MY GAWD!" Sakura screamed as she jumped from her desk. Her desk was right next to the window and suddenly a large swarm of bugs had appeared out of no where and began to crawl and fly across the room. The students in his class and the teacher began screaming and grabbing their stuff, while others just left theirs, all they wanted was to escape. Gaara calmly grabbed his things and walked after the running students. After all he didn't find bugs terrifying and he had planned this so it was no surprise or shock to him. _

_He smiled as the announcement saying that school was going to be over for the day and that buses would be there soon to give students transportation home. He knew no one could trace it back to him and this way he got out of school and going to the mall with Sakura and Ino, talk about killing two birds with one stone._

-

Gaara snapped out of his reverie and noticed all four men and Neji, who looked as if he had just gotten outside, were all staring at him.

"What?" Gaara asked.

"Are you mental?" Kiba asked causing Shikamaru to whack him in the head.

"Yes," Gaara said once again causing them all to stare. "Can we go now? I'm going to be late and I just know Naruto is going to complain if I am."

"Okay," Neji said walking to the other side of his car and getting in unlocking the doors and waiting for the five guys to find a seating arrangement. It ended up with Gaara sitting shotgun, Shikamaru on the right in the back, with Shino next to him in the middle with Kiba on his lap, while Lee sat on the left.

"This is gay," Kiba, said unhappy with having to sit on his friends lap.

"No Neji's gay," Gaara said making Neji's friends laugh.

"I know. I mean with him it's just so obvious," Kiba said.

"He is just expressing his youth in a different way!" Lee proclaimed, though everyone ignored him.

"He's damn proud of the fact that he is a cock sucker," Gaara said smirking at the angry expression on Neji's face.

"Shut up," Neji said tightly. "Or you're being left here on the street."

"Oh joy. You're going to leave me here and then come back to rape me once you've dropped your friends off!" Gaara said with mock happiness.

Kiba was in the back busting up laughing at the scene in front of him while Lee rambled on about youth. Shino just sat there not really doing anything while Shikamaru decided to get some sleep in before having to work.

"Stop the car!" Gaara yelled. Neji automatically slammed on the breaks causing everyone to jerk forward. Which made Lee hit his head and finally stop talking, while Shino had reflexively grabbed Kiba and held him close so he wouldn't fly forward, but that put them in an awkward position, and Shikamaru's nap had been interrupted.

"Why?" Neji asked. Even though he had already stopped the car.

"Because I think Naruto is going to be raped," Gaara said while staring out the window.

"By that raven-haired guy?" Neji asked leaning over to look out the window as well.

The boys in the back joined in as well all watching the blonde boy and the raven-haired boy talk.

"Yeah," Gaara answered.

"I wonder what they're saying," Kiba said aloud.

"I can guess," Gaara, said slightly irritated.

"How?" Kiba asked.

"Because I've heard Naruto talk to that guy on the phone before. They are like a freaking married couple in denial of the fact that they screwed each other and ended up married because they had been drunk and high and can't remember a damn thing about the night before."

"Umm okay," Kiba said staring to think it was better not to ask Gaara questions.

"What should we do?" Neji asked. "We'll be late if we don't hurry up."

"Well…" Gaara said. "I have a plan…a fun, satisfying, yet very, very _dramatic_ plan."

In silent agreement all the boys leaned in to hear what Gaara was going to say.

**_To be continued…_**

**Please Review!**

A/N: By the way if Lee seems a whole lot more like Gai, well that's because he is. I mean he's an adult now so he's learned a lot from Gai and is far more like him. Okay I'm done now just please review!


	4. Chapter 4

**Warning: Language, shonen-ai, Gaara's personality and language! Gaara has a very dirty mouth. Well not really, well kind of. Anyway you've been warned!**

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Starbucks, or Safeway. Ah I also mention Taco Bell in this, which I don't own as well. I also don't own a car, but now I do own a CELL PHONE! Sorry, thought I should share. I felt very left out of the social scene I love so much because I didn't have one. Hah, a cell phone is just another excuse for me to talk for no reason.

**IMPORTANT: I in no way am trying to offend people with my story. If anything in this offends you I'm sorry. This was made for humor only and none of this is really very serious. It's all just for a good laugh. So please don't review saying how rude I am or something. It will not be appreciated or tolerated since I gave you fair warning. If you have a problem with my story at all just hit the back button and forget about it. Sorry if that sounded rude I just wanted to get a point across.**

**Chapter 4**

"What are we wearing?" Neji asked looking at the outfits Gaara had found in a clothing store they had parked near to carry out their plan.

"Suits," Gaara replied applying eyeliner heavily onto his eyes not even bothering to spare Neji a glance.

"I can't wait to see how this will play out!" Kiba said laughing happily at what they were going to do. He was dressed the least formal out of them all wearing a red dress shirt unbuttoned a little at the top showing his muscular chest and matching the red paint that had been applied to his face.

"WE ARE INDULGING IN THE JOY OF YOUTH!" Lee yelled happily with large rivers of tears spilling from his eyes.

"I'm just surprised you agreed to wear a suit," Kiba said.

"Too bad we couldn't talk him out of it being green though," Neji added annoyed at having to wait so long for the others to get ready. "Can you guys hurry up?"

"Hey! I'm already done getting ready, and so is everyone else except Gaara!" Kiba argued back.

"Tch, can't I just go to work? This is too troublesome," Shikamaru asked. His brown hair had been let down and he was wearing a black suit with a white dress shirt and a tie which had been messily put on. A band-aid had been put on his cheek to make it look like he had a cut there as well.

"Why doesn't Shino have to change?" Neji asked looking over at Shino who was still wearing a large gray coat and his usual black shades.

"Because he already looks like a gangster like that," Gaara said now painting the kanji for 'love' on his forehead in blood red paint. "Besides, what's wrong with your outfit?"

"I look un-kept," Neji replied.

"No you don't, besides you're the only one with a nice enough body to show off their whole chest," Gaara said finishing with the paint. He then looked over to see Neji tugging at his button up shirt, which was in fact not buttoned at all and covered by a black jacket. Loose jeans also hung on his legs being held up by a simple belt. "This is the first time I've seen you in casual clothes."

"Yeah, me too," Kiba said looking over at Neji. Pretty soon everyone was staring silently at Neji.

"Am I really that fun to look at?" Neji asked feeling a headache coming from being so irritated.

"Maybe, finally people will think you have a fun side," Kiba said laughing at what he said even though it wasn't very funny.

"YOU SHOULDN'T MAKE FUN OF HOW PEOPLE EXPRESS THEIR YOUTH!" Lee exclaimed after being uncharacteristically quiet.

"Can we just get this over with?" Shikamaru asked getting bored.

"Yes, now everyone remembers what we're going to do right?" Gaara asked looking back in the mirror to make sure his look was correct. His black dress pants were already what he was wearing to work but the emerald green dress shirt and tux jacket were from the store.

A chorus of 'yes' was heard as he turned around and looked straight at Neji.

"And as soon as Neji pays for all of the clothing we can leave."

"Wait, why do I have to pay for everyone's clothes?"

"Because, you have the best paying job," Gaara said, even though he just would rather irritate Neji further.

"What a good friend you are Neji! Helping your fellow less fortunate friends!" Lee said very proud of his friend's forced generosity.

Neji just glared at Gaara and went over to pay for the clothes.

"I wonder if that guy will believe that we really are gangsters," Kiba said aloud. He was actually very excited about what they were going to do.

"Well we look like them," Shikamaru said with a yawn. He really didn't care about pretending to be a gangster. Gaara had told him he just had to stand there and that everyone else, excluding Shino, would do all the talking.

"You guys are expensive," Neji said as he walked to the exit with everyone following behind him.

The group of guys walked to the crosswalk and waited for the light to change before crossing the street. All the people on the other side of the crosswalk turned and started walking away not wanting to walk past them.

"Hey! I think its working!" Kiba exclaimed smirking. Everyone just ignored him in favor of being angry and annoyed, which was just helping in making them look more threatening.

"I have a bad feeling," Shino said amazing everyone except Gaara.

"Why do you all look so surprised?" Gaara asked bothered at having to waste so much time being surrounded by idiots.

"Well, usually we get limited to about one sentence from him a day," Kiba explained. "But for some reason he's talking a lot more today."

"You consider about two sentences a lot?" Gaara said glaring at them. "Idiots," He muttered as they reached the entrance of the park. "There they are, let's go."

Naruto and the other boy were a few feet away arguing heatedly with each other before Gaara smirked at how much fun he was going to get to have.

"Hey you," He said darkly glaring at Sasuke. "Leave, I have business with that boy."

"Ga-Gaara!" Naruto yelled confused as to why his co-worker had shown up with a bunch of shady looking guys.

"You know him?" The black haired boy asked turning his head to look at Naruto.

"Yeah, Sasuke. He-" Naruto found a hand over his mouth as something hard was pressed against his back.

"Talk and I'll shoot," Neji whispered into Naruto's ear. Even though he wasn't in danger of being shot since it was just Neji's cell phone. The blond nodded his head furiously.

"What business do you have with my boyfriend?" Sasuke said now turning his attention to Gaara. He stood up and walked over to him with a glare on his face.

-

"Why are they all so serious now?" Lee whispered to Kiba.

"I have no idea," Kiba whispered back. "I'm just glad I'm not on their bad sides."

"Me too," Lee said.

"Wow…" Kiba said looking at Lee in amazement. "I never knew you could be this quiet."

"I know. I'm amazing!" Lee said a little louder than he should have for Gaara and Sasuke both turned their stares to Lee and Kiba.

"…Are you really gangsters?" Sasuke said now suspicious of them.

"Of course," Gaara said glaring Kiba and Lee. "They are just telling their sex stories to each other."

Neji had to hold back from laughing at his friends freaked out faces when Gaara had said that.

"But I'm a virgin," Kiba said very confused.

"SAME HERE! THAT IS ONE OF PART OF YOUTH I'VE NOT INDULGED MYSELF IN!" Lee exclaimed with his face bright red.

"Man, I knew this was going to be trouble," Shikamaru said sighing.

"Hey! That means Shino can predict things!" Kiba said turning to Shino who was standing there silently.

"You guys are lying to me about him having business with you!" Sasuke said angry as he through a punch at Gaara. He however missed since Gaara had ducted and now was walking very angrily over to Lee. Sasuke was following behind him, but never anticipated what was going to happen next.

"Take this!" Gaara said picking up Lee and throwing him onto Sasuke causing both of them to end up on the ground. "Neji grab the boy and let's go!"

Everyone including Lee, who somehow managed to come out of being thrown onto a person unscathed, ran to Neji's car and got into any available seat.

"Why do I have to sit on Shino's lap again?" Kiba complained. This time however they were sitting behind Neji who was in the driver's seat. Shikamaru had grabbed the passenger seat before Gaara could so he was sitting in the back behind him with Naruto in his lap and Lee next to him in the middle. As Neji started the car Sasuke came into view and Gaara smirked as he licked the side of Naruto's face from his chin to right next to eye happy to see the horror and anger appearing on the guy's face.

"Eww! Gaara, why'd you lick me?" Naruto said disgusted rubbing at his face.

"Because God willed for me to do so," Gaara said looking completely serious.

"Eh…I thought you were atheist…"

"HUSH!" Gaara said having everyone turn to look at him.

"What the fuck?" Neji said looking back to the road.

"I'm not black!" Naruto yelled.

"But I am," Gaara said.

"…No your not…" Naruto said a little freaked out.

"Who be sayin' that?" Gaara asked. Kiba sat there laughing his head off at the argument going on, while Shino stared blankly, or as far as they knew, out the window. Shikamaru had managed to doze off and Lee was for once confused into silence.

"…Just go look in a mirror," Naruto said trying to scoot over closer to Lee just to get away from Gaara.

"Haha yer gay," Kiba said pointing at Naruto. Naruto just blinked at Kiba and turned to Gaara.

"Who are these people?"

"Why not go ask those motha fucka's?" Gaara replied.

"Oh god, he really thinks he's black…" Neji said sighing in annoyance. Gaara was already hard enough to deal with when he was normal, well how he usually acted.

"You're worried! I'm worried! I have to work with him for eight hours today!" Naruto said panicking.

"He's probably doing this to be annoying," Shino said looking over at Gaara and turning to stare at the back of Kiba's head.

"I'd just like to remind everyone that I like Hinata," Kiba said looking a little nervous.

"…Is everyone in this car gay?" Naruto asked. He was so confused. He knew he was weird, but this was like being surrounded by people who took it to another level entirely.

"Pretty much, except Kiba's still in denial and Lee…we have no idea," Neji said as he turned into a parking lot of a school.

"I SHALL GO AND TEACH TODAY'S YOUTH THE MEANING OF BEING YOUNG!" Lee yelled leaping from the car still in a green suit.

"LEE! You finally dressed…semi-appropriately for work today!" A surprised teacher yelled as the others drove off.

"Anyone hungry?" Neji asked.

"I am!" Kiba yelled also very happy considering he had leaped into the middle seat before Naruto had had the chance.

"Me too!" Naruto yelled. He knew Gaara wasn't going to do anything else that was weird, besides black men weren't gay. Were they?

"Gaara, are black people ever gay?" Naruto asked turning to look at Gaara.

"Are you fucking crazy all black men love the pussy so much we just won't go down town on them...they like our big penises…what can we say," Gaara said glaring at Naruto.

Everyone went wide-eyed at Gaara's word choice, but Naruto managed to recover first.

"Really? How would you know? You've never met every single black person." Naruto said thinking himself very smart.

"Shut that fucking mouth up before I break it," Gaara replied.

"Okay..."

"Here we are," Neji said turning into Taco Bell.

"Awww! I hate always eating here. I mean I have to come here almost all the time just to work," Kiba said annoyed.

"Which is why you're getting out now so you can go inside and eat, while we go through the drive-through," Neji explained.

"You're cruel," Kiba replied climbing over Shino to get out of the car and once he was out he turned and looked at Shino glaring. "Did you just grab my ass?"

"Naw, that was that Naruto," Gaara said laughing at Naruto's now pale face.

"WHAT? I didn't do it!" Naruto screamed as he moved to the middle seat.

"You know what? NEVERMIND!" Kiba said. "I have to go clock in anyway…"

"I've decided I don't want Taco Bell for breakfast," Neji said.

"Why's that?" Naruto asked.

"It's already ten in the morning," Neji explained.

"Um…Gaara didn't we start like…two hours ago?" Naruto asked fearfully.

"I don't give a shit," Gaara said looking out the window.

"Just say Naruto was getting raped in a park and you had to go and save him," Neji explained.

"Like they'd believe that!" Naruto yelled unhappily.

"I am the manager at Safeway," Shikamaru reminded them. "I'll make sure you guys don't get fired, okay?"

"YES!" Naruto said pumping his fist in the air.

Gaara glared at Naruto. He still didn't like his job. "I hate my job!"

"Why are you always so negative?" Naruto asked.

"Why the fuck do you always act gay?" Gaara asked back.

"I'm not gay!" Naruto replied vehemently.

"Then what about your boyfriend?" Neji asked.

"…Well, Sasuke's special!" Naruto said puffing out his cheeks in anger and turning away to look towards the window.

"Oh god…" Neji said looking over at the parking lot at Safeway.

"WHAT! WHY ARE THERE POLICE THERE?" Naruto yelled.

_**To be continued…**_

**Please Review!**

**Oh and by the way. Don't get mad at me if I offended you in this. I didn't even write the dialogue for Gaara while he thinks he's African American. I had my friend who actually is African American do it for me. So…if you have a problem with it…just tell me I'll make sure he gets the message.**

**Okay, I fixed it and am sorry to offend people. I really didn't like it much myself. I feel really awful now. I really didn't read it through after my friend wrote it, so I'm sorry.**


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